As you know, mothers all over the world get to have a special day tomorrow. Some of us will get breakfast in bed, a special meal with the family, nice gifts, etc. In my case, at this very moment ... I actually get a few hours today without the kids! Yes, my husband has taken the kids out shopping for a surprise gift for me. Bianca has been waiting for this day for the past 2 weeks now, trying so hard to keep it a secret from me, talking in hush tones with her Daddy as they try to decide what to get for me. How sweet!
Now that I have some quiet moments to myself, I reflect on a few recent discoveries about my kids:
1. It only takes a few words of appreciation or encouragement during these early years to give your kids confidence. I noticed it this morning as Bianca started playing on the computer and she reached the highest level of the game. I did not have to say "good job", "well done", "clever girl" anymore ... she just came to the conclusion "I did it because I'm the clever-est girl in the world!". Nico also sometimes tells me "good job mommy" with his thumb up without any prompting.
2. I was reading a book "Love Languages for Children", trying to 'analyze my kids' (as hubby would say) to find out what makes them feel loved. And when kids feel loved, they respond better to parents advice, communication and discipline in the later years. There are 5 ways mentioned in the book: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service.
After reading the book, we concluded that our little girl's primary love language is 'quality time'. It's quite obvious when she gets all excited about the times when we are alone on our 'girls day out', rides on the bus, having a snack at the cafe where she gets undivided attention. Since she's now in school, we don't get to do this as much so she often mentions missing it. Right now, she's having a "daddy's day out" and I'm sure she'll tell me all about it when she gets back. Hope we put in enough love into her "love bank" to get us though the tough teenage years!
Also, I wonder what love language the little boy works on, the book says I have to wait until he's at least 5 years old before I can figure it out. He seems to enjoys physical games a lot, at least a few minutes each day seems to make him really happy all day. He also likes helping me out with small tasks like getting a cup, throwing things in the rubbish, grinding some salt into the food, etc. Oh well, will have to wait a few more years to find out for sure.
3. Bianca it not only confident, but very assertive as well. One time I was trying to choose a book for Nico at shops and here comes hubby trying to rush me, not really helping. At this point Bianca says "Daddy, let Mommy decide!". Another time, I was really busy getting a few things ready before they went to bed while hubby was just sitting down reading a book. This time she said "Mommy, you are so busy ..... and Daddy's not helping again!". LOL ;-)
These are times I am glad to have given up full-time work to be a stay-at-home mom. There are good days and bad days, but most definitely more good ones. I certainly like the feeling of knowing and caring for my kids ... and to me, that's what motherhood is all about. And all this would not have been possible if it wasn't for my hubby ... thanks mahal.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!